This page was designed for giggling and just plain enjoyment!  We all need a little time away from the daily routine now and then, so we thought we would provide a 'silly' page dedicated just to entertainment!
(nothing offensive intended)

 

Fun X-Rated Site

http://www.twmacinta.com/detector/English.html

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Life 101

A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and no one is 
there. He looks all around and he finally sees a little snail sitting on 
the doormat. He picks it up and throws it across the street into a field.

Ten years goes by, and one day he hears a knocking on his door. He opens it 
up and no one is there. He looks all around, and he finally sees a 
slightly bigger snail sitting on the doormat. The snail says, "What the 
heck was that all about?"

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It's A Matter Of Perception

An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is
nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

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IF - - -

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it
 follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,
 cowboys deranged, models deposed and dry cleaners depressed? 
 
 Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed
 and depleted!
 
 Even more, bed makers will be debunked, baseball players will
 be debased, landscapers will be deflowered, bulldozer operators
 will be degraded, organ donors will be delivered, software
 engineers will be detested, the BVD company will be debriefed,
 and even musical composers will eventually decompose.
 
 On a more positive note though, perhaps we can hope politicians
 will be devoted.

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The Famous One Liner!
 
 A man walked into a doctor's office with a frog growing
 out of his ear.
 "When did you first notice this?" asked the doctor
 "Well, it all started with a wart." said the frog

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Interesting Reading
(A True Story)

The answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be a jock or a  nerd?":

A VERY famous basketball star makes over $300,000 a game.  That equals
$10,000 a minute, at an average of 30 minutes per game.

With $40 million in endorsements, he made $178,100 a day, working or not.

If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every
night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.

If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but
he'll make $18,550 while he's there.

If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.

He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage.

He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.

If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000)
it would take him a whole 12 hours.

If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement
money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.

He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of
golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.

Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of is
income into a tax deferred account (401k), he will hit
the federal cap of $9500 at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st.

If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he
made, you 'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.

He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics.

He'll make about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.
While the common person is spending about $20 for a
meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600.

In his last year, he made more than twice as much as
all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined.

... However...

... If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 250
years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has today.

Game over.  Nerd wins.
===
 Nature does not require that we be perfect, it requires only that we grow, and we can do this as well from a mistake as from a success.

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Today's Horoscope
http://www.thirdage.com/horo/daily.html?etoday

Today's Joke
http://www.thirdage.com/community/joke/index.html?etoday

Today's Comics
http://www.thirdage.com/news/comix/index.html?etoday

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 God's Voice Mail

I have learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of modern
life. But I have often wondered, What if God had voice mail?
Imagine praying and hearing this:
"Thank you for calling My father's House. Please select one of the
following options.

Press 1 for requests.
Press 2 for thanksgiving.
Press 3 for complaints.
Press 4 for all other inquiries."

What if God used the familiar excuse, "All the angels are helping
other customers right now. Please stay on the line. Your call will be
answered in the order it was received."
"If you would like to speak with Gabriel, press 1.
For Michael, press 2.
For any other angel, press 3.
If you'd like King David to sing a psalm for you, press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to heaven, enter
his or her social security number.
For reservations at My Father's House, press the letters J-O-H-N,
followed by the numbers 3-1-6.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the
earth, and where Noah's ark is, wait until you get here.
Our computers show that you have called once today already. Please
hang up immediately. This office is closed for the weekend. Please call
again on Monday after 9:00 a.m.  

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And to end this silliness,

Your Personal Garden

Plant three rows of peas:
Peace of mind
 Peace of heart
Peace of soul

Plant four rows of squash:
Squash gossip
Squash indifference
Squash grumbling
Squash selfishness

Plant four rows of lettuce:
 Lettuce be faithful
 Lettuce be kind
 Lettuce be obedient
 Lettuce really love one another

 No garden without turnips:
Turnip for meetings
 Turnip for service
Turnip to help one another

 To conclude our garden we must have thyme:
 Thyme for God
 Thyme for study
 Thyme for prayer

 Water freely with patience and cultivate with love.
 There is much fruit in this garden because 
you reap what you sow.